Remember, you’re still an amazing person - you just don’t have the preferred appendages for the package deal.ĭon’t try to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ him. This made me realize that even though I wasn’t what he was looking for, it spoke nothing of who I was as a person. The first thing my ex-boyfriend told me when we were back on relatively normal speaking terms was that he wished he liked girls. I’m sure that sounds a little odd to you all, and trust me, I’m still a little uncomfortable with it myself, but bear with me here because I’m going to share with you the very eye-opening lessons I’ve learned from all of this. It turns out his best friend from high school ended up being my best friend from university so he’s been around a lot more lately. Shortly after, it experienced a little turbulence post-lovebird stage and eventually led to a fatal crash which ended all contact until just recently. It’s also sounds ridiculously embarrassing when you play it back in your head a billion times over. If your boyfriend ever tells you that he thinks he’s gay, don’t offer to help him find a guy to experimentally make out with. Now, let me just offer you all a piece of advice right off the bat in case you ever find yourself in this situation (there are more of you, right…?). In my mind, all I really heard was, “forever alone”. But deep down I knew he was trying to tell me he didn’t really love me anymore. My first thought was, “Gay? Like happy?” God, did I pray he meant happy. My tall, sexy, master of many accents green bean boyfriend told me that he was gay. But even all that paled in comparison to the tsunami of shock that was about to drown my crappy, little island of self-pity.Ī few months and another break up later, a sporadic, yet fairly normal, text messaging conversation turned into one of the strangest phone calls I have ever had.
Slowly but surely, my little slice of heaven was being reduced to a few crumbs of adolescent mediocrity. Our friends got sick of the lovebird mania.
Life seemed perfect.īut after a couple of months, things got worse. The chubby, short, teenage version of myself whose hair was an awkward length and whose boobs were the size of overgrown cantaloupes finally felt a sense of belonging with a guy who lived 30 minutes away by car and had the anatomical build of a sexy green bean.
We finally met in person for the first time at my junior semi-formal and I still remember every waking moment - it had been the greatest night of my life.Īs a first time relationship often does, it made the world a blur of rose-coloured bliss in my eyes. After that, for months - on and off - we shared lovey dovey chit chat, mindless adolescent Facebook hacking (note: don’t ever share personal passwords with anyone - EVER) and gag-worthy stories of one another with less-than-amused friends. It took all of two weeks before our shared smiley face texts were replaced with crooked hearts and an endless number of X’s and O’s. Our relationship blossomed my junior year of high school after an accidental introduction via a mutual friend. I have no doubt that I came long after any self-doubt he might have had about his sexuality, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel as though I played a part in it. Okay, so maybe that isn’t exactly how it happened. So today, I am going to share with you the story of how I turned my very first boyfriend gay. I have grown up believing that while moments in our life may not define us, they certainly do give meaning to the lives we lead.